hibana x doc
by fortniteedgelord69
Summary: i dont know at this point
1. Chapter 1: Introduction

Hibana: *moans*  
*spins fidget spinner more aggressively* 

Doc: youre gay 

Hibana: fuck you 

Doc: im doing the fuck you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

*fuze walks into room*  
Fuze: WTF MEN? ПИДАРАС ХУЙ СОСЙ СУКА БЛЯТЬ! 

Hibana: oh whoops 

Doc: we were just enjoying some "down time" 

Fuze: tHatS gAY блЯтЬ! 

*tachanka breaks through hatch and instantly deploys lmg*

Tachanka: СУКА БЛЯТЬ 

*USSR national anthem plays*  
*pulls out meatsepter*

Hibana: tHatS IllEgAl 

*finka drops through hatch*

Finka: she's under age, if you want fuck, go japan men 

Tachanka: FINKA NUT 

*grabs finka and pulls her towards the door*

Finka: *pulls out meatsepter*

Tachanka: *commits die*

Hibana: oof  
*hibana dies to finka's meat scepter

Doc: *stims hibana*

*nothing happens* 

Fuze: That's how mafia works. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	2. Chapter 2: Assault

Announcer: **Enemies are regrouping, prepare for assault.**

Doc: *stims himself and breaks barricade*

*spawn peeks*

IQ: *sees doc, turns around and runs to cover*

Doc: *sees iq's ass*

*busts a fat one*

Announcer: **YOU HAVE BEEN EXPOSED**

Doc: ah

*taps doc*

Thermite: skrr

Doc: fuk

*stims himself*

Bandit: DOC STIM PLOX

Doc: k

* * *

Dokkaebi: lemme call

Thermite: k

Bandit: *goes to spawn peek*

*hears call*

DOC STIMMM

Doc: none left, and youre high

Bandit: REEEEEEEEE

*spasses out, headshots iq, and falls through the map*

SCHEISSERRR

Doc: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

* * *

Thermite: A big fucking hole coming right up

*hot breaches ground floor barricade with thermite charge*

Caveira: *silent steps behind thermite*

Themite: *turns around*

hi

*pulls out meat scepter*

Caveira: *pulls out sharp meat scepter*

wait thats a knife lol

Thermite: *places down thermite charge and stands on top of it while activating*  
*commits die*

Caveira: ok


	3. Chapter 3: Flashbacks

*hibana lays in doc's arms on the floor*  
Doc: Nooo Hibana, ma chérie,  
Please don't leave me

Hibana: Its ok, i'll always be here for you.

Doc: Hibana, it doesn't have to end like this.  
Please don't go.

Hibana: youre gay  
*commits die*

Doc: noooooooooooooooooooo!  
*stands up and storms towards finka*  
*yeets finka in the face*

*clutches her face*

Finka: Пошел нахуй сука блять!

Doc: YOURE GAY

Finka: What did I do!?

Doc: YOU KILLED MY ANIME GIRL WITH YOUR MEAT SCEPTER

Finka: oopsie

Doc: *kills finka*  
*stims finka with the wrong stim pistol ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)*  
*drops to his knees and nearly commits game end*


	4. Chapter 4: Aftermath

*rushes to find hibana's dead body*

Doc: *cries*

*finds a shovel and digs a grave*

*lowers hibana into her grave, holding back tears for his anime girl*

Fuze: I'm sorry

Doc: Its ok, she's still with me here  
*puts his hand on his meat scepter*

Fuze: *gives doc a baguette*

Doc: thanks

*wipes tears away*

Fuze: *pulls out vodka*

Fuze: you want to forget today comrade?

drink vodka, yes?

*doc takes fuze's 10 bottles of vodka and chugs it all*

Doc: aahhh, baguette…  
*collapses*

Fuze: oof

*kapkan walks towards fuze and sees doc*  
Kapkan: no, блять! stronk russki eat semechki so not get drunk, no?

Fuze: да товарищ, согласен.

*takes another shot*  
Kapkan: aaiihhh  
*collapses next to doc after 235 shots of vodka, spilling semechki all over the ground*

Fuze: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
hmmm, i have idea  
*a smirk appears on fuze's face*

*places cluster charge on hibana's coffin*  
Detonating cluster charge!  
*clunk, clunk, clunk*


	5. Chapter 5: Realisation

Doc: *wakes up 10 metres away from hibana's coffins with bruises*  
*sees hibana's coffin*

FUZE

Fuze: *collapsed drunk on the ground with kapkan*

Doc: **YOU FUKING WHAT CUNT**

*kills fuze*

Kapan: *wakes up from the sound of doc's MP5*  
*still hungover*

aaiihh, блять, what happen товарищ?

Doc: *t-posing over fuze's body*

**he cluster charged hibana's coffin**  
*points to the remains of hibana's coffin*

Kapkan: Фузе это ёбаный урод

Doc: what?

Kapkan: nvm

Doc: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

*walks back to the consulate with kapan*

* * *

Dokkaebi: enemy located

activating logic bomb

*buzz buzzzz*

*buzz buzzzz*

Doc: ah shit

Kapkan: что за хуйна?!

Dokkaebi: *snipes them from the other side of the map*

Announcer: **ROUND 1 LOST: FRIENDLIES ELIMINATED**

* * *

*wakes up*  
Doc: AHHH  
*looks around rapidly only to see his anime girl hibana in bed next to him*  
*sighs*  
*observes the bedside table and sees a used stim pistol and condom*

**baguette**


	6. Chapter 6: Patisserie

Doc: *wakes up*

*walks to kitchen*

Hibana: *cooking ramen in the kitchen*

Doc: do you want anything from the patisserie?

Hibana: uuh, ill have a baguette

Doc: ok  
i can always give you some baguette if you know what i mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hibana: …

Doc: ok bye

* * *

Doc: *walking to the patisserie*

*sees rook*  
ayy rook my baguette brother

Rook: oui oui baguette

Doc: oui oui baguette

Rook: oui oui baguette

Doc: oui oui baguette

Rook: oui oui petite croissant

Doc: ok bye

Doc: *arrives at the patisserie*  
hello can i have un baguette

Cashier: да

Doc: russki blyat?

Cashier: да да да сука блять

*gives doc baguette*

Doc: ok bye

* * *

Doc: *arrives back at the skyscraper*  
*walks into barbeque room*

hey hibana

Hibana: hi, did you get that baguette?

Doc: yeh

Hibana: you know, ive always wanted to eat a baguette whole ;)

Doc: das gay

Hibana: *walks doc seductively over to the master bedroom*  
*lays him down on the bed*

Doc: bagu-

Announcer: **SECURE THE ROOM. PROTECT THE BIO-HAZARD CONTAINER.  
**  
Doc: _Ah shit, he we go again._


	7. Chapter 7: Biohazard

Hibana: reinforcing the wall!

_Wait, that's illegal_

Doc: wall reinforcement complete!

Hibana: can we go back to what we were doing now?

Doc: oke  
*wraps hibana up in the bed sheets like a sushi roll*  
your filling looks tasty ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hibana: *moans*  
*pulls out fidget spinner from under bed sheets*

Doc: oh my god hibana can you fu-

*explosion*  
*ash peeks around the window*

Doc: *looks at window*

Hibana: *looks at window*

Doc: watch this anime girl  
*jumps and hits the fat 360 while emptying 5 bullets out of his revolver*  
*one taps ash with a noscope*

Ash: HAXXER!

Doc: nah m8 just pure mlg skill

_ok this is getting cringy_

Ash: reported  
*dies*

Hibana: ur trash

Doc: what

Hibana ur trash

Doc: excuse me what the fuck  
*stims himself and hibana*  
*nuts all over hibana*

Hibana: now thats a real biohazard :))))))))))))


	8. Chapter 8: Ranked

Six: men

we are going do a realistic competitive simulat-

Hibana: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRANKED?/

Doc: DID SOMEONE SAY RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRANKED?/?/

Six: yes we will be playing ranked

Doc: *whispers*

time to get serious

Distant voice: hey thats my voice line блять

* * *

Announcer: PROTECT THE BOMBS.

Doc: reinforcing takes so long

Hibana: yeah

Doc: ?/

Announcer: BOMB LOCATION COMPROMISED, PLAN ACCORDINGLY.

Doc: come on im still reinforcing

Hibana: same

Doc: *looks at hibana*

Impossible

Announcer: 5 SECONDS.

Doc: *breaks barricade*

*runs out onto balcony overlooking spitfire courtyard*  
EAT MY BAGUETTE YOU SWEATS

*spawn peeks everyone*

Announcer: FRIENDLIES VICTORIOUS. OPFOR ELIMINATED.

Thermite: frick off you heck

*dies*

Ash: go play ranked you sweat

Doc: this is ranked lmao

Ash: oh wrong queue lol

*dies*

Hibana: cumon doc, i wanted to use my epic supernova pistol loadout

Doc: hibana

youre actually garbage

Hibana: says the sweat who spawnpeeked everyone

Doc: rlly

Hibana: i can see it dripping off your face

Doc: my face isnt the only thing thats dripping ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hibana: *sigh*


	9. Chapter 9: Renaissance

**ROUND 2  
DEFENCE**

Doc: alright hibana go reinforce hatch

Hibana: ok

where hatch

Doc: ill ping it

Hibana: kk

Doc: fucking reinforce the hatch you ching chong

Hibana: oke

floor reinforcement complete!

Doc: gj

Hibana: deploying x-kairos!

Doc: hibana you fucking retard

*hatch explodes*

Hibana: *dies*

Announcer: **FRIENDLY LAST OPERATOR STANDING.**

Doc: *facepalm*

welp

**2 V 5**

Tachanka: **LMG MOUNTED AND LOADED!**

Doc: what the frick tachanka

i thought you died

Tachanka: a god never dies :))))))))))))))))

*pulls back bolt aggressively*

**2 v 4**

**2 v 3**

**2 v 2**

**2 v 1**

Announcer: **OPFOR ELIMINATED. MISSION SUCCESSFUL.**

Tachanka: my work here is done

Doc: ez clap bois

* * *

Tachanka: *walks into hibana's living room*

Hibana: tachanky boi! i thought you died?!

Tachanka: gods never die, красотка

Doc: _hold up_

_what is going on here_

Hibana: nothing

Tachanka: nothing

Doc: *x*


	10. Chapter 10: Plot-Twist

Doc: hibana

do you know something that i dont know?

Hibana: uhhh

Doc: tachanka

i need to talk to you

Tachanka: alright товарищ

*walks out to hallway with doc*

Doc: is hibana cheating on me

Tachanka: uhh maybe

Doc: are **you** the one making her cheat on me?

Tachanka: ok fine

i slept with her and i ***** ** ****** ** *** ***

Doc: wtf

*shoots him with fake stim pistol*

oh wait you cant die lol

Tachanka: ill go commit die then

bye!

*commits die*

* * *

Doc: hibana youve been cheating

Hibana: what?/

Doc: i talked with tachanka and he told me

Hibana: /?

Doc: come on just tell me

Hibana: …

Doc: or im gonna clap your ch-

Hibana: okay

i did sleep with him but it was only one time

Doc: hmmm

Hibana: and he was so damn b-

Doc: hold up buckaroo

id advise you to stop right there

Hibana: ok then

im gonna go commit die

*pulls out bering 9*

Doc: ok

Hibana: *commits die*

* * *

Doc: *sits down on his living room couch*

*pulls out phone*

now whats twitch's number…


End file.
